Courtney: When it comes to culture shock, it's not one big thing that gets you. It's the accumulation of LOTS of small things.
1. Hot water is optional. Apparently it's quite common for kitchens in Singapore to have no hot water from the tap. In our nest of expat comfort, we have a button on the kitchen wall labeled "water heater," and about 15-20 minutes after you turn it on, you can get some fairly warm water. This is perfectly logical once you experience the joy of a breezeless 34 degree (C) day -- after all, there are very few days when you actually want your shower or coffee to be steaming hot -- but it's utterly illogical when you're faced with a pile of greasy pots and pans. Maybe this is part of a grand government plot to spur economic vitality either by 1) encouraging expats to employ a domestic worker to scrub those pots and pans or 2) encouraging us to go out to eat more often so as to avoid the whole washing up mess altogether.
2. You will eat strange things nearly every time you have to go out for a work-related meal. The relocation guides did cover this a bit, but it was mostly under the "how to avoid food poisoning" section, where they coach you on how to avoid alienating broad swathes of colleagues/customers/countries when you just say no to that sheep's foot soup. But I understimated just how many strange things one can encounter in a relatively Westernized place like Singapore. So far I've managed to join in the fun on the stingray (like many other flat white fish), jellyfish (oddly like boiled onions in texture), cockles (man, I miss the mussels at Plouf in SF), boiled peanuts (why??!)...but skipped the slices of unidentifiable duck organ (when the locals can't identify it, steer clear).
(Related note: I've finally stopped being startled by the most dramatic tea-pouring I've ever seen: this is high-speed, long-distance Chinese teacup-filling action where there's some combination of gymnastic skill, liquid physics, and sheer determination that sends tea into your cup in a stream the width of a phone cable and the intensity of a fire hose.)
3. Thirsty Hippos. You know those little packets of crystals that sometimes come tucked inside consumer electronics packaging? The ones that your mom always told you not to mess with? If you live in a reasonable climate, they probably haven't played much of a role in your life. Little would you figure, then, that when you're 85 miles from the equator, they can make the difference between having a closet full of nice clothes...and then one day not. The humidity here is the stealth killer of cloth and leather. Things can literally rot from the inside out while you're off enjoying a beach in Thailand or working another 80 hour week. One day you're thinking, "Boy, I wish it were cold enough to get some use out of my Cole Haan fabulous black leather boots," and then the next day you're wondering what that random white festering-looking stuff is all over them. (This is not a real example, thank goodness.) Enter the Thirsty Hippo. It's a small plastic box of aforementioned crystals that sucks the moisture out of the air in your closets, where A/C typically doesn't reach. Fortunately we learned about these before we lost our entire wardrobe...we would have really appreciated this tip over the "where expat wives can get manicures" section in the relocation guide.
4. If you think US TV is hopeless and yields nothing decent to watch, just wait until you're halfway around the world and IP-blocked from most decent (and legal) music and TV content on the web. The talent of whoever is doing the TV-buying for the cable carriers here is the spiritual equivalent of whoever does the "women's everydaywear" buying at K-Mart. Rather shapeless. Mostly pastel, with the oddly selected stroke of fuchsia or too-bright, too-earnest blue. Never too revealing. Think Canadian cooking shows. Except for HBO. Thank goodness, again, for so many reasons, for HBO. And thank goodness the Cricket Channel will consume all those hours we have left after we get sick of the Football Channel.
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