April 2nd 2009
Keith: How many people in Singapore are made of rubber? I only ask after watching another lightning storm roll in earlier this week and seeing our neighbors carry on swimming with their kids, clearly oblivious to the fact that the two things you really don't want to see in a swimming pool are children peeing and electricity.
It was a similar story when Courtney and I got caught in a spectacular storm over brunch at Dempsey Road two weeks ago. In an hour of deafening thunder, with sheets of rain bouncing off the street and a black sky lit by fork lightning from multiple directions, most people took cover - but one or two donned their rubber flipflops and took their lives into their hands.
Given that Singapore boasts one of the world's highest rates of lightning, with thunder 171 days each year, chances are reasonably high that we'll see someone getting fried while we're here. It's a potent mix: small island, densely populated, penchant for tropical storms, attracts the kinds of expats who see a python in the local park and decide to take their pet chihuahua for a closer look. So in the interests of public safety - and happy to try anything to ward off that unmistakeable stench of burning hair - I'm hoping the following might help:
Tropical Storms: Six hints and tips
1. Avoid tall trees. Not only does lightning tend to hit the tallest thing first and fry everything around it, but you'll also get hit by falling debris. To survive a lightning strike but then be killed by a smack on the head from a coconut is going to make for some very conflicted eulogies at your memorial service.
2. Being in water is a no-no. Bear in mind that swimming pool water tends to be flat, so anything sticking out of it - like your head - will be the tallest thing in the vicinity and a potential target. Water's also a good conductor of electricity - so even if the person next to you has a bigger head and gets fried first, you'll still get the side flash.
3. Your flip-flops will not protect you. Trust me. This stuff's come a long way down and it's on a mission.
4. When you take cover indoors, try to stay away from anything plugged into external grids, including the electric power supply and telephone. The US National Weather Service tells the story of Cheryl, who was hit by lightning at home while calling her husband on a fixed line phone - to warn him about the coming storm. Aside from the seizures she's suffered ever since, what's particularly unfortunate is that being an American she has no grasp of irony and can't therefore appreciate the true beauty of her own story.
5. The USNWS also recommends that you stay away from plumbing and water. I'm not entirely sure how lightning gets round the u-bend but this would imply that while you sit out the storm, you do need to make some sensible decisions about what it is you actually sit on.
6. Finally, if you find safe shelter and the storm lasts more than ten minutes, do not succumb to boredom and make a run for it under the cover of your golf umbrella. Sure, the odds of getting hit by lightning are small - but if you think about it, standing in open ground holding a metal rod above your head does raise the stakes somewhat. It's a bit like walking into a bar in Buenos Aires during Maradona's 'difficult' years and loudly declaring that he's a cheating little cokehead with bad hair and an ego twice the size of the Falkland Islands. It's quite possible that you won't get punched in the face - but why would you take the risk?
Next week: The benefits of keeping your eyes open while driving
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